Book: Filthy Prank

Year Finished: Around 2017

Authors Notes:
so this is a book that I wrote in 5th grade and suprisingly it got an award. So I think that I will post this online, with transcription and authors note because why not. Idk if I regret this story or if I love it I guess its both ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

yeah this is the cover, the award stamp is a little messed up but its pretty good.

“Ok so here are some typical girls”

Correction: typical deformed stick women

"And they are so annoying to me!"

"They scream so much that my ears bleed!"

“And they sing a lot of annoying songs that I can’t stand” “And when they see a little busserl in a movie, they go ‘BOZONKAS’”

Note: idk what “bozonkas” means

“And they pretend cry and they expect me to fall for it”

Note: suprisingly relevent line

“And they mess with my FRIENDS!”

Note: imaginary friends

“So I will do an awesome prank to get revenge on them!”

"time for a commercial break"
"if you dont want any commercial break then buy a prenimen juiceboi membership its FREEEEEEEE"

Note: what the fuck

“So the girls mostly hang out on the swings, so I decided to do the old whoopie cushion. (A whoopie cushion is a balloon but if you sit on it it makes a loud fart noise). So I put a whoopie cushion on each of the swings. NOW LETS SEE EM GET PRANKED”

Note: I thought I was the only intuelectuall who knows what a whoopie cushion is. Idk why

“PFFFFFFT everyone noticed but the girls, strange...”

Note: so they didn’t notice that everyone was laughing at them, (assuming that everyone noticed). Also they didn’t feel a random cushion on a rubber swing? Idk bro.

“So as usual they sing annoying songs”

“The song was SUPAH ANNOYING, ‘lalalalalala’ they sang and sang and sang and so the whoopie cushions cant take it!”

“My gosh can they STOP SINGING?!? :face_with_symbols_over_mouth::face_with_symbols_over_mouth::face_with_symbols_over_mouth:”

“So the cushions do what they must do.”
“3 2 1”


“The cushions EXPLODED into little tiny pieces, it was like a nuclear explosion at SCHOOL!”

Note: I got a fucking award for writing about bombing the school because I hate women. Thats secondary education for you.


“MIND BLOWN! And they look ANGRY, I didnt know girls can survive explosions. And is it just-“

“-me? Or are they walking up to me.”

Note: and I didn’t know that they know that they can find out whos behind the whole thing in one millisecond.

“My legs keep begging for me to run but my brain acts like a dad when his son wants to buy a expensive toy. (The dad says no) a few steps later brain sees something about these girls so he tells the legs to run. I ran for my own life those girls are on to me then I jumped over the recess fence AND THE TEACHERS DIDN’T NOTICED!”

Note: and they didn’t notice an explosion also? Man they must be high on something..
“So I made it to the city with a lot of cars and buildings. And I found a sweet hiding spot.”

Note: it was a van that said “free candy”

“And guess what I found... ‘We should, like, kill the boy with weapons’. “The girls are planning an attack!”

Note: yes they should, like, escape from school to commit murder with illegal weapons. Man, if you didnt sing annoying songs then non of this wouldn’t have happened.

“I need a plan, hmmmmmm... hey look, a stick with poison ivy!”
“GASP! I GOT AN IDEA! I have a stick with-“

“-poison ivy and have some more whoopee cushions. So I will use them as weapons! And so I walk up to them and GAWK”

“A wooden sword, A hammer, A plastic mace,a pitch fork?”

Note: they’re on steroids

“Looks like I gotta do. THE CHICKEN DANCE”
“Up to the top of the building and throw whoopie cushions.”

Fun fact: in the original writing I wrote “grenades” in place of “whoopie cushions”

“I am almost to the top. WATCH OUT THEY HAVE DODGEBALLS”

“MADE IT YUSSS!!!! Now to throw whoopee cushions. Ok I don’t have a good aiming eye hey at least I shot one girl. Also she dropped her weapon AND IT’S THE PITCHFORK!”

“Just gotta jump out of the building there is a mattress on the floor so I will be allright. 3 2 1 weeeeeeeeee.”

Note: Notice that I was wearing a tupee the whole time.

“SAFE LANDING ON THE MATTRESS!! Now to get the pitchfork and make them drop their weapons ‘Drop your weapons NOW!’”
“They did of course NOW I gotta use the bathroom cuz i gotta go bad. 200000000 seconds later. Now I POISON IVY THEIR BUTTS!”
“1 millimeter second later. Well it looks like them girls got poisoned and I have something to say about it… YOU JUST-“

Note: ew
“Then juice learned how to be coool end”

you wanna go back to main page, coward??